Aengus Og's Blog (9)

Living fully requires determination, but above all it requires courage; I still fear the pain, the disappointment, the heartache... but courage is the control of fear, the mastery of it, not the absence. I make my choices with the realization that those sensations are merely the negative balance of the same single experience - Life! I am the master of my life, not fear, so I refuse to allow my fears to govern my life or my choices in it. Succeed or fail, fly or fall, it will be what it will be..… Continue

I turn away, it is in front of me. I walk past, it follows me, I run, it pursues me. I hide, it finds me. I stand tall, it towers me. I resist, it scolds me. I surrender, it ignores me. I attempt, it eludes me. I cry, it laughs at me. I have family, it takes them. I have friends, it takes them too. I ask, it replies. What are you? I am Death. Continue

The house is quiet, yet the silence is deafening. It is becomming late, yet sleep eludes me. My heart yearns, but it seems in vain. I find only unrest, I feel only pain. I go to bed, but the covers smother me. I kick them off, and the night breeze chills me. I used to prowl, like a wolf in the night. It was my time to think, and search for insight. The night was my friend, it took away my fears. Now it brings only torment, It brings only tears. Continue

When I need to think, I go away. Way up high, and waste the day. I sit on a rock, and look to the west. I watch the sun fade, as it continues its quest. Ive been here a lot, I need to it seems. More and more often, to keep hold of my dreams. The wind blows hard, and howls cross the land. And the fog embraces me, when I reach out my hand. Up here there is peace, or at least a cease-fire. From the day to day war, of which I tire. So Ill continue to come, to this moun… Continue

I may live in the city, where buildings and cars abound. But I have not been deafened, to that mountain sound. Although I dont often hear them, at night if Im silent I find. All those sounds still echo, through the caverns of my mind. The howl of the wolf or coyote, when the night time sky it sees. Challenged only by the howl, of the wind among the trees. The gentle dribble of a mountain spring, as it flows to lower ground. And the crashing thunder of a waterfall, all make up t… Continue

Demons, demons, screaming in the night. When I fall asleep, the demons take flight. My life is a play, and they are the cast. Some from the future, and some from the past. Their faces are grim, and contorted by death. My skin starts to crawl, from their foul steamy breath. Where do I find rest, in this Hell we call sleep? When I know from its depths, the demons will creep. I cant stay awake, but I dare not go under. The demons will know, and my soul they will plunder. To… Continue

The weather is changing, a great greyness gathers overhead and the hair stands erect on the back of my neck. As I watch the wind disturb the tranquility of the tree tops I wonder what has my senses so piqued. A chill runs through me as I sit watching. Barely moving, barely breathing, barely knowing... Am I perched at the beginning of a change in my life as I have been so many times before, or am I perched at the end? Continue

I walk around, and it follows me. Everywhere I go it is there. Others see it, not on the ground, but in my eyes. It doesnt want me, thats too easy, no fun. It wants only to toy with me. It wants my family, my friends, their friends too. Every now and then it taps me on the shoulder and reminds me it is there. I have not forgotten, I have seen it in my work and in my play. Its grotesque image is burned into my mind. I cannot seem to win, I can only go on. But someday it will tire of thi… Continue

There is a wolf of shadowy grey tall and lean and fast. Running toward his destiny, and running from his past. He came from the misty hillsides, where fog embraces the land. His eyes are green and hard as steel, and his hair the color of sand. Determination is carved into his face, etched in slate and stone. His presence can be felt before he is there, like a chill running through your bone. Many have called upon him, in their hour of greatest need. Speak his name and he will ap… Continue